Sunday: Free Day??

So I had a WAY off day today.

After being pretty good all week long, and working 80 hours, I needed a break from the diet.

I worked a night shift (9p-9a) and when I got home I was too awake to sleep so I made biscuits and gravy... After which we took a nap for a couple hours... Then I had a couple potato skins... chips and dip... and then a dinner of red beans and rice. On the way to work tonight I stopped and got a pineapple shake from Sonic.

Not a good day. But I am sure I would have gone crazy if I had to follow the diet again today.

The worst thing? I probably gained back all I lost this week in the process! Thanks PCOS.

I still not to figure out when to work out. But if someone with experience in working 80 hours a week (night and day shifts) can figure out when to squeeze in working out combined with sleep and family time, please let me know!

Been a While...

I know it has been a LONG time since I've been on here... But I'm going to work on that, I promise! I've had "update weight blog" on my to-do list for a couple months now, lol!

This week I started the Slim-Fast diet. Am I perfect? NO. I wish I was but I think I have an eating disorder. It may sound crazy but I believe I have Binge Eating Disorder.

According to the Mayo Clinic: 

Binge-eating disorder is a serious eating disorder in which you frequently consume unusually large amounts of food. Almost everyone overeats on occasion, such as having seconds or thirds of a holiday meal. But for some people, overeating crosses the line to binge-eating disorder and it becomes a regular occurrence, usually done in secret.

When you have binge-eating disorder, you may be deeply embarrassed about gorging and vow to stop. But you feel such a compulsion that you can't resist the urges and continue binge eating. If you have binge-eating disorder, treatment can help.

I know it sounds crazy but that is me almost to a "T". In public with strangers I won't eat NEARLY as much as I would at home when nobody is home. I even do it with my husband there but not as much as otherwise. I always say I will stop and control how much I eat but that never works. 

For example: 

Yesterday I followed my slim-fast plan like I was supposed to: Shake for breakfast, fruit snack, shake for lunch, slim-fast bar for snack, then a healthy choice dinner. What did I do when I got home? Had chips, dip, and ice cream. NO BUENO.

 I have a wedding coming up in April 2014. I can't fit in any of my clothes and anything my size is "old lady" style. I'm tired of it but can find a ton of excuses on why not to exercise or eat right. I actually almost wrote an excuse after that "but" in the previous sentence.

 The exercise is the hardest. I work 70-80 hours a week, on average. I have down time at my job but it is still difficult to get motivate to work out. I just don't. I can think of all sorts of reasons. 

 You would think trying to get pregnant and be healthy would motivate me. But it doesn't. I just say I'll be good when, and if, that day ever comes. 

 I can think of reasons to be motivated but none of them have done the trick this time. 

 But I'll start with trying to just lose some weight with the slim-fast plan.  

Gotta Figure This Out

I need to figure out SOMETHING.

Between time, food, and desire I have to figure out what I want to do. I know I want to lose some weight before I go to AZ for Christmas. I actually weigh how much I did 3 years ago when I last saw (most) of them!

And I'm tired of my clothes not fitting and being out of breath, etc.

But yet I am just TIRED. When I get home after working two jobs I barely get around to household stuff, let alone a workout.

And now the treadmill is in the garage... So that will be interesting on motivation.

I don't know. I need something to just work for me. I wish there was magic that could make this work but it is just a lot of hard work and willpower. Which I don't have AT ALL.

Any suggestions???

3 Day Diet Update...

So I did the three day diet. Stuck by it pretty well with the exception of 1 brownie on days 1 & 2. Day 3 I had only lost 2 lbs (can usually lose more by that point) so followed breakfast and lunch but needed something more substantial for dinner since I was working 7pm to 7am that night.

So what does that mean for me?

Not doing the diet again...

(I started typing this a week ago... Let's see if I can finish now :o) )

But I am going to really try to watch what and how much I eat.

And to exercise. The only problem is I am so exhausted half the time. I try to squeeze in a little bit at my 2nd job (CNA) but I can't get any cardio in when there.

Will have to figure out when I can do that. Probably just a matter of getting off the couch and STARTING.

Going to Try!

I am going to try something new.

I have become a pinterest addict and there are a ton of good ideas as far as exercise goes (and a lot of other things, lol).

My problem is I don't have the control to do an extensive diet/exercise regimen.

But I found a 3 day diet plan that I think will work.

I think I can survive 3 days. And I intend on adding cardio to that as well.

I start today (after I get off my night shift at 7 am and get a couple hours of sleep).

I will try to keep you guys further updated!

My goal is to be under 200 by Christmas... I know that is a lot but I am going to see my dad and family then and I want to be smaller. Last time they saw me I had started my initial journey weigh the same now as I did then :/